That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
