Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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