Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
