What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.