Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what if I'm pregnant?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.