haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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