Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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