just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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