Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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