I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
