So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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