If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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