so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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