I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
