Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
