he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
