I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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