you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
