like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
