dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize