Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
