The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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