But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize