I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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