I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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