Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
