But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
