Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
