she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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