your room smells of hookers.
And success
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just had sex bonerless
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
