No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
