Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
