11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she told me i tasted like america
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
