Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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