Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
