My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize