Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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