It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
