I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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