Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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