Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
