ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
