Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize