For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
