Quick, to the slutcave!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize