just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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