If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
