David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
