walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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