just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize