my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
