I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
