cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize