If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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