Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
