i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
