i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
whose parrot is this?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize