found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I looked at my own cervix.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
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the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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