You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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