therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
